Christmas Revelations

It's the day after Christmas, and I have two thoughts.

1.  It's amazing how easy it is to buy gifts for my family.  Mostly, when I buy things for my parents, or my sister, there isn't any agonizing over what to get.  I see it, and I know they will like it.  Why?  Because I like it.  Because I would be happy if it were wrapped with my name on it.  I always thought that was kind of weirdly selfish, like I was buying them things (books, movies, games, sweaters) that I would evenutally be able to borrow, and maybe that made it less personal, less valuable.  But mostly what it means is that my family and I are a lot alike, no matter how different they each may be to each other.  I have pieces of my personality I share with my dad, my mom, my sister, good and bad and geeky and bookish and ridiculous.  It means we're connected in fundamental ways that have nothing to do with genetics.

2.  When you start to tear up a little because your dad and stepmom give you some money to help you pay down your debt so you can someday buy a home?  And you think there is nothing you would rather do in the world with that money?  That means you're officially a grownup.   When you and your mom both decide on small gifts because money is tight and you both stick to that, and you spend the day instead watching movies and looking at old family pictures and laughing while making dinner, and it's one of the best Christmases you've had in a long time?  That means you're officially a grownup.  Being a growup kind of rules.

Those are pretty nice Christmas revelations.

Duties, civic and otherwise

I haven't been around much in the past few weeks (Thanksgiving went off without a hitch; thanks to everyone who asked!) mainly because I have been incredibly busy.  I was called this month for Grand Jury duty in the County of New York, and was chosen to spend four weeks, every morning, on that jury.  It's not something I can talk about in terms of specifics, but I will say that so far it has been incredibly interesting and eye-opening.  The justice system in the country seems pretty complex and even convoluted from the outside, and in some ways it is.  But it's also that complex for a reason - there are so many checks and balances in place that it makes me feel better, feel proud that we've managed to put together a system that striving for fairness, even if it sometimes falls short.

The rest of my time has been taken up with SINGING!  It's been so long since I've had a chance to really sing that this is like an embarrassment of riches.  And I'm getting to sing both classical choral pieces and some good old fashioned rock and roll.  I am tired all the time, but I am really, really happy about all this music in my life.

So far the end of 2009 has been overwhelming in a lot of good ways:

• promotion at work
• sent in application to graduate school
• jury duty
• joined my amazing choir

Having all of these things happen at once is a good reminder that life is a fine balancing act, and one that I'm still working out.  But it's forcing me to schedule my time much more clearly, to say no to social engagements I can't afford, to plan for things like meals and shopping trips and even sleep.  Routine suits me.  Now I just have to keep remembering the little things as well as the big things.  And remember that my elliptical machine can be used for more than just hanging coats!

(December is going to be epically busy, but I'll try to update here more than once a week, since this is one of those good habits I'm trying to foster.)